I have had multiple people tell me that the embryos we created are “perfect” and “look amazing”.

 

That is all well and good, but only if they actually do something once they’re in my body. This time around they decided to do nothing. It wasn’t totally unexpected, as I was overstimulated, but still very hard news to hear. I think I knew in my heart that it hadn’t worked when I started feeling pregnancy symptoms. I know that sounds weird, but every time we’ve tried, I’ve felt that it for sure worked because I was nauseous or crampy or my back hurt. But then the tests were always negative.

The doctor that I spoke with today (mine is out of the country) said that I should have had a 75% chance of getting pregnant with how great our embryos are. Apparently my body decided on the 25% chance of not.

I’m no longer thinking that having “perfect” embryos is something to celebrate, especially when two of them fail. Luckily we have 7 back-up ones waiting for us. Also luckily, we have already purchased a frozen transfer cycle, so hopefully all we’ll have to pay for is medication. I will also ask the doctor to transfer 3. They don’t normally transfer that many, but with so many failures it seems like our best option.

We may decide to take some time off and try again next year. I’m really starting to believe that I am someone who just can’t get pregnant. If doing a frozen cycle doesn’t work for us, I don’t know where we’ll turn next.

 

I fully understand why so many people who go through IVF choose not to share the journey, with anyone. It isn’t easy having so many pulling and praying for you and then letting them all know that it has been for naught. I am truly grateful for all the love and support we’ve received over the last several weeks.

It has been quite a while since my last update. It has been easier and faster to just do a Facebook post.

 

But it’s time for a bigger update, since we’re nearing crunch time. Many have asked, so here is a little more about what is going to be happening this week.

 

During IVF a womans ovaries are stimulated to grow lots of follicles, which hopefully produces lots of eggs. They are then fertilized and watched for 3-5 days. After that amount of time, they are either frozen, transferred into the womans uterus or both.

 

Fresh vs. Frozen:

A fresh transfer means that after the eggs are fertilized and have grown for 3-5 days, they are transferred into the uterus in the hopes of implanting and becoming a pregnancy. These are only done if estrogen is at a proper level and the ovaries look good. If estrogen is too high, it is guaranteed to fail.

A frozen transfer means that after the eggs are fertilized and have grown for 3-5 days, they are injected with a freezing agent and stored for future use. Generally, after a new cycle has started, medication will be given and embryos will be thawed to be transferred into the uterus in the hopes of implanting and becoming a pregnancy. These are generally used for women who get high estrogen levels from the stimulation medication. It allows her body to relax a little before stressing it with a pregnancy. They’re also used if a woman wants to have another baby and has leftover embryos from previous IVF attempts.

Now if you notice, I said in the hopes of. There is no guarantee that IVF will result in a pregnancy. For some women, it just does not work. There are many factors that can contribute to this, but you have no way of know if it is going to be successful.

 

We have purchased a package deal that gives us one fresh and one frozen cycle, which means that if the fresh one doesn’t work, we can do a frozen one without paying any extra, except for medication. This package was more costly than just doing one fresh cycle, but with how previous attempts went we figured it was worth it to pay a little more and guarantee two cycles total. Of course, if I do get and stay pregnant from the fresh transfer, and it results in a live birth, we won’t be able to use the frozen cycle that we’ve paid for. It was a risk that we were willing to take: pay a little extra now, just in case.

 

I haven’t yet decided if I’ll report the results from the blood test right away, or if I’ll wait. I don’t feel that it will give anything away if I don’t say anything, though I feel that at this point if it is negative I’d probably share that.

 

Here’s to a successful fresh transfer, with leftover embryos to freeze for later use!