This morning I’ve been perusing the internets. I’ve been reading some articles on my favorite pregnancy site, Babble.com. I came across one that speaks so much to me and how I’ve been feeling for the last 2 months.
1. Women With Four or More Kids
A single child is understandable. Two makes sense. Three is actually quite nice. But four? Or more? Today? Are you just trying to show off your fertility?
2. Pregnant Complainers
Oh, you’re tired of hugging the toilet bowl for hours? I know, I know. Your feet are so swollen you can barely walk. And you’re not sleeping well — or at all. And your other kid(s) is so demanding right now. And you look like you’re carrying triplets. I’m sure it sucks. Wanna trade? Here. Here’s my infertility. I’ll take your pregnancy complaints.
3. Unplanned “Oops”
You didn’t even try! No fair.
4. The Pregnancy Expert
And I don’t mean doctors. I mean the women who have the exact right answer on how to get pregnant. Relax. Keep your legs up for an hour. Orgasm. Take your trigger shot a few hours before they tell you to. Don’t eat meat. Have sex on the full moon while praying to the fertility goddesses and signing an Om prayer. Sure, I appreciate the advice. And honestly, I’m willing to try just about anything, so keep the advice coming. Just know that sometimes — just sometimes — I want to punch you and your answers in the face.
5. The Woman Who Gets Pregnant Her First Try
6. Teenage Moms
I could so be a better mother than you ever could. OK, so maybe that’s not totally true. But it is.
7. Deadbeat Parents
I think pretty much everyone hates a deadbeat. But seriously, you don’t even deserve the title of parent. Do you have any idea how hard I’m working for this?
8. 20-somethings Who Say They Never Want Kids
Yeah, I didn’t either. And now my ovaries are like the Sahara Desert and my biological clock is a huge middle finger. If you’re young (and somehow reading anything but Perez), go have your eggs frozen. You can send me a thank-you card in another 10 years.
9. Baby Killers
Any news or story of some heinous human being dumping their newborn in the dumpster, or flushing them down a drain, or throwing them out of a high-rise, or whatever else these crazy f%*$% do to babies makes me so.effing.mad. Here’s an open note to all the world: If you have a baby that you don’t want, I WILL TAKE HIM/HER. No need for murder.
You begin to think that maybe your body won’t ever work. Or that maybe you’re just not meant to be a mother. Or that you have some seriously terrible karma and you wonder what you did that was so bad for this to be your plight.
I know that realistically we haven’t been trying for that long but going through three full cycles with no ovulation is not feeling very promising.
I found an awesome product that can detect ovulation using saliva that will last for years and years. I’m seriously considering getting it instead of using the pee sticks (pain in the butt!). For some strange reason saliva gets extra salt in it during ovulation that you can see with a microscope, which is basically what the product is. The saliva goes from looking like little black dots to looking like ferns. Quite cool!
I’m also exploring my options as far as fertility testing, natural ovulation things and anything I can be doing to help get this party started. Its amazing how opening up about my journey has brought other peoples journeys to me. I’ve learned of several people who have also struggled, loved, lost and given up. I would love to hear from anyone who has struggled, what they did to help cope, if they overcame.