If you put 200, 4 weeks pregnant women under the age of 35 in a room together, 30-40 of them would have a miscarriage by 12 weeks. Of those 30-40, 3 will have seen and/or heard their babies heartbeat. Statistically, 5-10% of pregnancies will end in a miscarriage after the heartbeat is heard. For someone who worries a lot, that is a big deal. Yeah, it doesn’t seem like very many, but when you’ve heard other people’s stories about how it happened to them, it seems like it could easily happen to you.

Today marked 8 weeks. It is still relatively unbelievable that I have a baby growing inside me. No matter how many times I look at the ultrasound pictures, it still doesn’t quite seem real. For someone who has experienced infertility and an early loss before, this is a relatively common way to feel. While others may be celebrating, or looking at baby things, all I can think about is the statistics, like the one shared above.

As for “pregnancy symptoms” this week: I’ve been unbelievably tired and extremely hungry. Most days this past week have consisted of first and second breakfast or snack, lunch (a full pb&j sandwich, crunchy curls and strawberries), snack, pre-dinner corn dog, dinner and second dinner or snack. If I eat breakfast at 8:30 and I need to go out between 9:30 and 11:30, I need to bring at least one snack, because I am not going to make it that long without needing something to eat. I’ve also been partaking in daily naps. Who knew it could be so tiring to be doing nothing extra consciously, but have lots going on you can’t feel!

Apparently today baby says “hello”. He or she measured at 7 weeks, 2 days, but decided to be scrunchy during the ultrasound, so could actually be a bit bigger. His or her heart was beating at 168 bpm, which is excellent.

Today I finally get to start reducing my progesterone injections! I’ve been given 1.5 ccs a day, every day, for the past 42 days. That is 42 needles directly into my gluteus maximus. I now am only going to have to have 1 cc injected daily, which is a good sign. It means that things are progressing nicely and the placenta is thinking about getting ready to take over. I’m glad that my doctor has decided to slowly wean me from the medication instead of just having me stop cold turkey. I don’t think I’d be able to handle that. I much prefer the slowly reduce method!

I have a pregnancy journal called “From Pea to Pumpkin” that I’ve had for quite a while. I finally got it out last week and started filling it in. Doing so has been a challenge because statistics. It’s a pretty cutesy book, with space to tape ultrasounds and write statistics, but also to journal a bit about how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking about.

I think I may finally be able to relax, just a little bit. I’ve been getting ahead of myself this week with looking on Pinterest at baby shower ideas, which is kinda unlike me and kinda not. I’m a planner, so having things set early is pleasing to me, but I’m also still a worrier.